What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
