i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
