I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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