evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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