what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
where does the pee come out of this thing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
