i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
