i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
