I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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