if you like me you must not know who I am
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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