Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just gift wrapped bread.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
