i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
