Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
