my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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