he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize