jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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