You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
