You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
