I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
