Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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