just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
