i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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