Can i not drive my cunt home
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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