I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
