im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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