What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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