quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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