Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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