I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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