Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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