I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize