I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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