he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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