Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
