Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
