Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
As shirtless as possible
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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