so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
