Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize