I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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