So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
