Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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