I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
