I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
