Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize