Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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