just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
