roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
