just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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