We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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