Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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