It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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