She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
