she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
