I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize