Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
