I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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