I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
