Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
