if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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