You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
