I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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