it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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