You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize