Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bring me that man meat
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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