i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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