i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
