if you like me you must not know who I am
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
