I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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