They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
