Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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